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Beating the Winter Blues
By Ann Rice

Cars are not the only things to get stuck in winter. The inertia brought on by dreary weather can leave one as immobilized as cars in a Vancouver snowstorm. If ten days in the sun isn’t an option, the next best antidote to winter doldrums is to get moving . . . . . towards a specific goal that is important to you.

I hear you, you’re stuck. That’s the point. Well, for the first couple of steps, you may have to rely on the “acting as if” strategy. Identify a concrete, baby step towards your goal - make a phone call, for example - and then act as if you felt confident, energetic and motivated to actually make the phone call.

Clients often say, “When I feel confident and motivated, then I will get moving.” Sitting on the edge of your bed waiting to feel motivated won’t work. It’s the action that creates confidence and motivation: empowering actions lead to empowering results that lead to more empowering actions, results, and so on.

The kind of goal you set is critical. You aim for a working goal, a goal that works hard on your behalf. It inspires, directs and guides you, and it’s realistic. “Should goals” don’t qualify: “I should lose ten pounds; I should go back to school; I should go after a promotion.”

“Shoulds” don’t inspire, and for that reason alone, they are unrealistic. They also have a scolding, finger-wagging quality that wears you out and traps you into trying to satisfy the expectations of other people, often without success. Then you feel inadequate for not having achieved the goal. Even if you do achieve a “should goal,” you may be left more deflated than satisfied, as if the achievement lacked meaning.

But . . . . . , what if you replaced “should” with “want”? “I want . . . . . : I want to learn when and how to be assertive; I want to explore pottery as a hobby; I want to be a more effective manager.” The concrete, measurable steps that you take to achieve the goal are your sub-goals.

“Easier said than done,” you reply. You’re not sure what you want; you can’t differentiate between “shoulds” and “wants,” or you want so much, you don’t know where to start. Your answers to the following questions could reveal “wants” that deserve your reflection:

• What topics repeatedly capture your attention?
• If you were under no pressure from anyone else, what activity would you willingly give yourself over to?
• What activity are you drawn to over and over again to practice and develop?
• What activity are you engaged in when you feel most effective, strong and energized?

The topics that repeatedly capture your attention indicate strong interests. You find yourself in the cooking section of every bookstore you enter, for example. Your interest in cooking could inspire a goal such as: To experiment with the cooking of twelve different countries over the next year.

The activities that make you feel strong and that you are driven to refine are your strengths, according to consultant and trainer, Marcus Buckingham.* Perhaps you notice that you feel particularly effective when you are making presentations and persuading others to your point of view. Your self-awareness could inspire a goal such as: To complete a marketing course by June 30.

Whether you are setting a career goal or a personal goal, investing your precious time and energy in the pursuit and unabashed expression of your interests and strengths will give you the greatest returns:

• Increased likelihood of success in the endeavor
• Greater happiness
• The sense of balance that comes from emphasizing strengths, rather than the weaknesses on which we tend to focus
• The “rush” of competence and mastery that arises when we develop new skills
• The boost in self-respect that comes from taking charge and taking action
• Renewed energy to deal with problems.

Goals arising from interests and strengths will not only lure you out of the winter blues and boost your confidence, they could provide you with unexpected benefits as well. Therapist and career counselor, Barbara Sher advises, “Set a goal, any goal and start doing everything you can to achieve it. You might not get where you thought you were going, but you could easily wind up somewhere better.” **

* Marcus Buckingham. 2007. Go Put Your Strengths To Work. Free Press
** Barbara Sher. 1994. I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was. Delacorte Press